Riding With The Brakes On

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About Me / Children / Christianity / family / parenting / Relationship / Sexual abuse / spirituality / TeenMom

It’s been awhile since I sat down to really dig deep and write about my feelings.

Yesterday was my birthday and what a splendid day it was! I was going to say I was spoiled but it’s not being spoiled when people love on you. I have finally come to a place in life and with myself to be able to receive the love and accept the wonderful gifts I was given.

My mom gave me a lovely card. I didn’t read it until this morning. I knew by the writing there was some serious feelings of hers written in it so I saved it for a time when I was alone to read it. Yup, I was right. Feelings written down. I felt sad after reading it. Sad for her, sad for me and sad for our relationship.

Let me share, it’s been more than a couple of years since I faced the demons in my life and decided to deal with my past and heal from it. With that came confronting some people in my life. My mom was one of them.

We had a big blow out.

Bit by bit we started to restore our relationship. Today, my mom and I are closer, we have more understanding and compassion for one another. I was just telling my eldest daughter yesterday how grateful I am that God has given me freedom through forgiveness and learning to truly love, love the 1Corinthians 13 way to love (I’m nowhere near perfecting that but I am closer to it than I was).

This morning I thought of my mom as I read her card to me. Made me think, what happened? What stops her from forgiving herself? what and why does she hold herself in her own “jail” of life? I have given her my forgiveness. She is unable to receive it. What is it inside of us that stops us from receiving forgiveness? What is it inside of us that stops us from exploring our hurts and pains in life and heal from them? what is it that stops us from refusing to give up old ways of life that are detrimental to our health, our well being and the health or our families?  What stops us from forgiving ourselves and others?

From my experience, what stopped me was the fear of truly facing myself and the wreckage I left in my tracks from the way I lived and the way I was towards others. making changes in ourselves and in our life is not easy task. It is not for the faint of heart. This takes courage. This takes willingness. This takes commitment. and you know, it takes being sick and tired of the same old junk day after day and it takes being sick of going around the same “mountain” of hurts, trial and pains day after day, year after year. It is like driving with the brakes on. Cautiously living each day holding back on life due to the full trunk of garbage we carry around. Come on, fling that lid wide open and release the demons! Punch them one by one as they come out! You will still be loved, you will still be cared for, you will still be accepted! Don’t think that you’re the only one who feels the way you do, or think that you’re the only one who has done bad things in life, you are not. We all have gone through something or another. Sadly it is this shame we feel that stops us from truly living our life.  This life is yours, take it, take it back!

Today is a new day. I cannot begin to explain the incredible freedom in life I feel. Yes, yes, yes, I still go through trials and challenges but I have hope and I see how far God has taken me. You can do this too, yes, yes you can! It is time. don’t waste another precious day living in the bondage of your own self. Today is the day to fall to your knees and ask God to make you willing, to forgive you, to come into your heart and make you whole. Without Him we can’t do it. With him we can do anything!

Will you do it today? Will you claim your life back? Will you come to the end of your ways and try Gods ways? I’m living proof of the freedom, the happiness and the life living life (if that makes sense lol) that I have today :)

Lord, I humbly come to you in prayer and ask You to bless each person who is reading this post today, it is not by chance they are reading it, it is by Your will. I thank You Lord for working in their lives, I thank You for blessing them and giving them hearts of love and a willingness to turn to you. Thank You Jesus that You came for us, that you paid the price so we don’t have to. You said to us, In this world we will have trouble but to take heart You have overcome it all. You didn’t say You overcame some things, You said You overcame them all and that means that WE TOO CAN AND WILL OVERCOME IT ALL THROUGH YOU TOO! Lord as we go through this day, speak to our hearts and show us, open our eyes to You and to ourselves to see us clearly, to see You clearly so that we may live the abundant and beautiful life You promised for every single one of us and Lord God let us remember and know and believe, there is nothing we could ever do, no sin too great to stop You from loving and forgiving us. I pray this prayer and give you thanks and praise In Jesus’ glorious powerful name. Amen.


Use It

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Do you have special china or tea cups you use only for “special” occasions or don’t use at all? I do, But I use mine everyday. I have come to learn and live that everyday is a special occasion. Our lives are special occasions everyday, not just on some days we think. YOU are a special occasion. Get those fine collectibles out and make everyday a special occasion for you and for the fam. Go on, if you’ve got fine china, use it for dinner tonight. If you’ve got special pots for cooking, use them to make that dinner tonight. Get out that cutlery you’re saving and use it. Life is for living in the now. Go for it and enjoy it while you can.

I have tea cups that have been passed down to me and they are worth money. I use to keep them in a cabinet and just look at them. Heck not anymore, I love my tea and I thoroughly enjoy that hot cup of tea in those fancy little cups. So go on and enjoy. You are worth it. Worth more than those fancy plates, cups, cutlery or pots. Yup even the  linens. HAhahaha ;)

PS- I even use my tea cup saucers for cat food :o lol ;)

Remember, Lest we forget

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Christianity / family / Relationship / Remembrance day / spirituality / Success / TeenMom / top stories

November 11. I can only sit here and try to imagine what those soldiers, what the people of this world, felt when all was ceased.
I don’t need November 11 to remind me of the freedom I have at the expense of others.  I’m reminded every morning when I wake up safe and sound,  I’m reminded when I can dress how I like, I’m reminded when I pick up my bible with freedom to read Gods word, I’m reminded when I leave my house and walk the streets, I’m reminded when I am in society living amongst others, I’m reminded just being a woman who is able to vote, I’m reminded each and every time I enter church, I’m reminded right now writing these things and sharing them with you.

Lest we forget the other 364 days of the year as we live in freedom.

I am so thankful for what complete strangers have done and have sacrificed for me.

Let us remember everyday and not take it for granted.

Thank you soldiers. Thank you to both my grandfathers who sacrificed their lives, thank you.

Remember, lest we forget the other 364 days we live in freedom.

A Good Reminder

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I received an email this morning and the person who sent it, explained how they were reading my blog and how encouraging it was to them and how they look forward to reading more. I also saw a post my daughter commented on on Facebook, and she went on to share her experience in a situation she was in and her gratitude for me, her mom :), who stood by her and was her voice when she didn’t have one.

I was, I am, very humbled. I am very grateful that my life’s experiences are able to help others. I am so grateful to God for turning these ashes to beauty.
Some days I feel discouraged and a little blah but it’s times like this that God reaches down, touches my heart and gently reminds me of my purpose and how good my life truly is.

Thank you! Thank you to all of you for reading my blog, for buying my book, for your continues support. And thank You God for always loving me so much and never leaving my side and for providing these bursts of blessings when they’re needed :)

Have yourselves a fabulous, blessed day :*

Poor Poor Me

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Being poor is an attitude. Get in check with yourself and start counting the blessings you do have instead of blaming others and always “looking over the fence” at what someone else has. Sheesh, I was reading some posts on Facebook this morning and people will go off on having a hard life or being financially poor because of Toronto’s new mayor or because of what someone has done or didn’t do. This kind of living is hard on yourself and it keeps you stuck and unhappy.

Get up, show up and put on a right attitude. When your thinking is poor, so is your life. When you act poor, so is your life! No doubt people have hard times, I’ve been there but I decided I’m not going around looking at what I don’t have or constantly say, “I’m broke, I’m broke” No, it’s time to change that stinking thinking and it’s time to stop acting poor! Now today is a new day, wash up and put on a new attitude! Your life is now, stop waiting for your external world to change before you change your attitude and outlook on life. And let me tell ya, if you have kids guess what? they are watching and they are hearing it all. Do you actually want them to grow up feeling poor? Nope not me either!

Come on friends, lets pull it together, lets claim our life back and start living rich, start living fresh, start living well!

Happy attitude check day to you ;)

Ch Ch Ch Changes

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Listen friends, life doesn’t change until YOU change. If nothing changes, nothing changes. Attitude, thinking, speaking, living. Life changes when YOU change.
I did it and I’m still doing it, and I’ll tell you, I’m happy, joyous and free today.

Time to stop looking out and start looking in. It’s not easy at first but as you keep at it, one small change a day, life becomes lighter, you start to feel at ease and your outlook on life changes and in turn God works through you and life takes a beautiful shape.

C’mon friends, life is for living, live it well!

Happy Saturday of change to you! ;)