I was out the other day walking the dog with the kids and we ran into an old acquaintance and her son. This acquaintance has two children the same ages as my oldest two, 20 & 18. We stopped and chatted for a bit and as I stood there listening to her I was saddened at her choice words and I also felt overcome with gratitude for my own children, and to be honest, for how I see my children and how no matter what, I am able, by Gods Grace, to always see the goodness in my them.
As we all conversed together, my kids looked at me and became rather quiet.
Friends, after that conversation these were the questions that ran through my mind:
What do we say about your children? What words do we use to describe them? What stories do we share about them? Do we gossip about our children? Tell people how misbehaved they are? How much of a hard time they give us? (regardless if that’s true or not), Do we embarrass our children in front of others? Belittle them? (Even if it’s done in a joking manner?) How do we see your children? Do we see them as beautiful or handsome? Smart? Kind? Great kids? Do we speak highly of them? Edify and build them up?
Therefore encourage one another and build each other up… 1 Thessalonians 5:11
We are to edify one another. Edify in the ways of speaking well of one another. This, in my opinion, is so very true when it comes to our children and family. Our children hear what we say about them. They feel how we feel about them by our actions, words, time spent nurturing the relationship with them. Our children are a reflection of us. For me, my goal as a parent is to teach my kids about God’s love for them and for my kids to know, I am a safe person for them. Safe meaning, if they come to me with issues, good or bad, I will be as kind as I can be, gentle, understanding and be of service to them. I want them to know that I will not slander them. Speak badly of them or tear them down. In my experience, my children hear how I speak of them, (now they read it too :D), the world out there is a tough place, our kids are up against enough when they head out the door. Our home & family life needs to be a place where our kids know they are loved and cherished. Parents, parenting is a tough job. One of the toughest. Let us not shrink away from this, our parenting molds our children into who they become. What we say about them and what we think about them will forever ring in their ears. Friends, if kids nowadays grew up feeling loved and cherished and most important (for me), safe, I’d bet there would be a very different world out there.
My experience has been learning to nurture and love my family through the years in ways I never thought possible. To love them as children of God. And in turn this has enabled be to love myself more and more.
Do I have regrets with some of my parenting? Oh yes. The difference over the years has been my awareness of what is edifying and what isn’t. Each day is a new day and I aim to be a better mom. I still screw up as many of you have read in previous posts, I’m a work in progress and I am committed to working on myself and my relationships with each of my kids. My kids will never know how much I love them, how grateful to God I am for them and how they have given me new life through our journey together :D
To my friends who have partners, this is extremely important too. How can a marriage or relationship thrive if one or the other speaks badly of the other? How can one look at the other the same after slandering them?
I don’t share too much on my spouse here in my blog. I will share though, we have entered a season in our marriage that I don’t like. It’s been difficult for me and my heart aches. We have battled so many obstacles and we’ve ridden a roller coaster the past nineteen years of marriage. The early years of our marriage I did speak badly of him to others. I saw him in a bad light. It was not until God got hold of me and worked on my heart that I stopped my words about my husband to others and I began to see him as who he really is and who he really belongs to and that is a child of God. I will share with you, I love him. I do. Always have and I truly believe I always will. He is forever in my prayers and I trust God has us exactly where we need to be. Regardless of what’s going on, and I will be honest I want to swear at times and say awful hurtful things, (and at times I have) I am learning to capture my emotions before they capture me and turning it over to God and surrendering.
As we go through the day, lets watch our words and change our thinking. And hey, here’s a suggestion, write out or say 10 great things about your children and spouse, even if your on a rocky road with any of them ;)
Thanks for reading, I know I can be all over the map at times. ;)
And before i go, here are some awesome things about you:
– your faithfulness in reading my blog
– your supportive comments
– you’re all awesome, beautiful children of God :D
– you are strong & courageous to get through each day
– and to my fellow bloggers, I thoroughly enjoy reading your blogs and look forward to them
– and lastly, we, all of us, help each other grow, heal and support each other as we can relate to one another through our life experiences
Ciao for now dear friends & God bless!